I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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