Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
