have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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