theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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