The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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