Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
