it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
