There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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