Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
