There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
