Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
