Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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