He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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