I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
