he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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