Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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