i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
How does one acquire holy water?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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