So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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