At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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