But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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