Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
