Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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