Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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