I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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