She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
