Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
