So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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