did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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