Yo dont text me then not text me
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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