Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
