so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
