What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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