i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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