This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
