i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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