he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
