The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
