from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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