you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
