The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
