You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
