Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
