yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
