Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
