The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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