we have officially lost it.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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