Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
