I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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