If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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