he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
