once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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