So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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