Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
