k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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