Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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