I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
