i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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