Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
