so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
