is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
