She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
